Awkward Life

She stared. That awkward moment when the cold sweat and quick prayer falls through and you blurt out your thoughts without pause before you realize what you're thinking. You turn red and pause, your mouth drooping in a slight-o, turning strawberry red before you fake a grin and run away.

At that moment you'll wish that she runs after you and stops you, giggling to herself as she holds your hand and grins. But life catches up to you as you take a breath and pause, collapsing on your bed as you curse your self. Maybe if you had stayed, waited for her answer, things would have changed. Maybe. But now you pass each other in the hall no longer friends and you curse yourself each moment you think of her cause you know each moment she doesn't think of you. No longer friends just this presence in your life reminding you of failure.

So you make a commitment to stay put in all your confessions, all your awkward moments. So that maybe next time your happy ending won't end without an ending.

An Encounter

The thirst for the numbness drives me, focusing all thought into what I see. It's rhythm and beat sings out, calling to me clear without doubt. as I weave and dodge, let's make the bag dislodge. hands bloody from the physical strain even as I burn with my anger untamed.

I need this release maybe it won't obtain peace but I got that drive and I just had to dive I can't be alive maybe next I'll sky dive.

It's that constant beat that prevents me from taking a seat The pumping blood pouring out like a flood.

I can't really see what it means to let go

without a thought to lose mind and kind

so I need that something to just show

and i need whatever just to find

that burning feeling

that's what I need

maybe one day i'll be kneeling

but now i think I just need to be real.